EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION IN MARRIAGE
CHAPTER ONE
THE PROBLEMS AND ITS SETTING
1.0 Introduction
We live in a dynamic world, prone to changes. Our society becomes more complex, so marriage as an institution is very mush affected. The world is a press buttoned world or quick result and everything runes very fast-a jet age; everybody wants things done at a press button process and marriage is not left out. But is one thinks he can run along with marriage is not left out. marriage this way, he will surely meet with a shipwreck.
Marriage by the Bible pint of view is termed as an intimate personal union to which man and woman consent consummated and continuously nourished by sexual intercourse and perfected in a life-long partnership of mutual love and commitment. It is also a social institution regulated by the word of God and by the laws and customers which society develops to safeguard its own
continuity and welfare. God instituted marriage in order to display his full image only on the couple. Each is meant for each other exclusively with the responsibility of rearing a family and taking care of their children. The unity of husband and wife is God’s creative will which enables them grow together in life comradeship.
In 1st Cor. 7:39’ (KJV) the bible say’s- the wife is bound by the law as long as her husband live; but it her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she wills”. St. Paul comprehends marriage obligations for husband under the principles of love, its highest standards being the love of Christ for his church Ephesians 5:25-28 (KJV). Fidelity is very much submit to her husband.
In the secular world, marriage is contracted as a basic for establishment of a family. Marriage is found amongst all societies, primitive and civilized though it takes different forms. In some societies marriage is arranged by relatives chose wives or husbands for their children. Another form is the one in which a man claims a braid by eloping with her. But the most common and acceptable form is the one which a bride-price is paid by the groom’s side. The marriage ceremony is done with the consents of both parents and their families. After the native law, the couple may decide to go to court and sign court register to have a legal backing and they may end it up by having a wedding in the church for the witness of everybody.
The giving of dowry in marriage does not mean that women are bought or sold a sa property or that they ranked low in status and power, but it is for strengthening of the marriage. It is also for the prestige for both families and services as compensation to the bride’s family for their investment on their daughter. It serves also as pre-paid alimony in case of discovers initiated by the groom.
In our society we have different types of marriage like polygamy which is one man marrying many wives; monogamy, this is where one man marries one wife which could be said to be the best in this present economic system. Polyandry is atype where a wife can marry more than one husband. This is mostly practiced by Tibert and Todas of southern India. This could be compared to wife-lending practiced by Eskimos where a man may lend his wife to his friends as sign of hospitality. There is incent brother marrying sister or father marrying hiss daughter. There is exogamy marriages outside the group. Endogamy is the prescription of marriage within particular group.
Oyedepo (1988) says in her book “marriage covenant” that “marriage is a gold, and line most precious metals, one must invents time and resources to secure it and fashion it into a jewel of great prices”. Marriage is an institution and since no institution can work in isolation, it needs an important tool which is effective communication to work with. Man and woman in marriage must have to communicate all the days of their lives. Communication based on this study could be termed as the process of selecting, producing and transmitting of wind and symbols in a way that the receiver perceives a meaning similar to that intended of the communicator. Communication between husband and wife could be described as inter-personal. This is a two-way process which requires immediate feedback and where the communication environment must overlap to bring a convergences. The vehicle of communication in the family is language that constitutes words. This could be expressed verbally or non-verbally. The place of effective communication in marriage is the key to effective marriage relationship. Negative words in marriage would produce pessimists, while positive words produce optimists, possibility thinkers and achievers. Love is marriage must be expressed in words through communication. The uniqueness form “communication” in marriage lies in the couple working in interdependent relationship and not in isolation.
- STATEMENT OF PROBLEMS
The high rate of divorces and broken marriages and the untold suffering of the children of these homes especially in Uyo Urban saddens the researcher. Rampant newspaper advertisement like the Vanguard of July -7-1996 divorce between prince Charles and princess Diana is a shame to the marriage institutions. There are high rate of societal evils is our land. These and many either marital ills in the mind of the researcher has promoted her to study and investigate the problems by assessing the extent to which communication or lack of it. Help to better or batter the “marriage institution.
- OBJECTIVES OF THE STUDY
The objectives of this study are:
- to ascertain the nature of communication that exists in marriages
- To assess the implications of the nature of communication in marriages to their success of failure
- To find out other communication related problems of marriages form the studied sample.
- To suggest possible remedies for communication related problems of marriages based on the findings of the study.
- THE RESEARCH QUESTIONS
- What kinds of communication exist among married couples?
- To what extent does effective communication or lack of it influences the success of marriage?
- What special problems of communication are inherent in marriage and how can there be remedied?
- SIGNIFICANCE OF THE STUDY
This research work would serve as a frame of references to students who may like to conduct enquiries into the cause of divorces and broke. Homes in our society, it will also help married couples as a guide on how to live a successful married life. The unmarried, wh. Will likely one day make up their minds, this study will also act as a lamp unto their feet and light onto their path.
- LIMITATION AND DELIMITATION
this researcher has a very limited time to write and submit this work, coupled with the tight and heavy schedules in the office in the morning, attending lecturers in the evening and also running marital home, she therefore finds time insufficient to carryout the research.
Money is another limitation, due to the general economic crunch in the nation, lack of prompt payment of workers salaries makes it difficult to buy and pay for the materials needed and to labour involved in carrying out this work.
The researcher has to narrow the scope of this work to centre around selected residents in Uyo Urban since it could not be possible to travel far and wide for data collection.
- DEFINITION OF TERMS
COMMUNICATION
According to Akpan (1987) is “the study of symbolic activities by human beings”. It is also defined as the process of selecting, producing and transmitting of signs an symbols in such
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