CHAPTER 1 CONTEXTUALISING THE STUDY

People are always longing for someone to help them realise their best selves, to understand their hidden self, to believe in them and demand their best. When we  can do this for people, we ought not to withhold it. We ought not to be just an ear to them.

– Mary Haskell, I CARE ABOUT YOUR HAPPINESS

    INTRODUCTION

According to Cattanach (2002:36) we live in the world of stories that run through our personal, social and institutional lives – a narrative stream that at times can be fast flowing and ever changing, at other times slow and meandering, carving out patterns in our understanding of ourselves and the world around us.

The stories that are told by people are not mere stories, they are reflections of what is happening in their lives, things that are experienced unconsciously and consciously. Long before the development of a written language, people had always told stories. Before television was available, stories were told in the evening by the fireside after supper to entertain children and to give information about past events. This is confirmed by Mandela (1998:2) (who speaks Nguni) when he says “after playing with friends, I would go home for supper. By the fireside, after eating, my mother often told us wonderful stories. These were more than just stories – they carried with them important lessons.”

Among the Nguni (i.e. IsiNdebele, IsiSwati, IsiXhosa and IsiZulu) speaking people the stories are seen as part of their culture, where elderly people would sit around and narrate stories to the younger people about life in the past. In Nguni culture, children young and old are not considered mature enough to understand issues of life and death. Through stories the children will gather information. Therefore the stories convey moral lessons.

The narration of stories is the body of information that belongs to a particular group of people, and is a reflection of their collective knowledge which was gained and contributes to the core values of the community.

Hardy (1968) quoted by Cattanach (2002:37) states that we dream in narrative, remember, anticipate, hope, despair, believe, doubt, plan, revise, critical, contract, gossip, learn, hate and love by narrative. The researcher is of the opinion that these narrative stories restore children with emotional problems (anxiety, insecurity, stress, depression etc). These stories can also be used in terms of human life concerning relationships (family relationships: nuclear, extended, single-parent, living together, step-parent, adoptive family etc). Children like to listen to stories. When used as therapy, the narration of stories must have a specific aim, and teach children important life lessons by incidental learning.

Some stories come from our parents, others come from the extended family and come from our culture. Parry (1998:65) contends all good stories speak to the emotions. Yet narrative therapy remains as cognitive as other systematic therapies. Narratives can have a powerful change effect and this is why they have been used therapeutically. Using the narratives in ways that are meaningful and fulfilling can lead the therapist to consider the ways in which each person’s social, interpersonal reality has been constructed through the interaction with other human beings. Children should be given opportunity to voice their views, and to explore their life stories both emotionally and cognitively.

The researcher, being a Nguni speaking person herself, has observed that in Nguni culture children are usually not given the right to debate or express their views with their parents. If they start to argue, they might be seen as stubborn, undisciplined and defiant. Their stories, feelings, emotions and fears are hidden.  In the past  Nguni speaking children never looked a person of authority in the eyes. Keeping eyes away was a symbol of respect and not a sign of slyness. In a culture that is authoritarian, it would be wrong to be assertive and children were denied the opportunity to tell their stories. As we live and understand through stories, the children did learn about their culture, but were unable to share current experiences with their elders.

INVESTIGATION OF THE PROBLEM

Stories can be used in narrative therapy as projective techniques when the child tells a story. The therapist can pick up the overriding theme from the story, which might be a problem that is revealed by the child. According to Parry (1998) stories teach  us how to feel. We learn how to feel, and we learn our emotional repertoire.